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Who’s Paying On The First Date? 7 Tips For Women

A man and woman on a date. The discussion of who's paying on the first date is a hot dating topic.
Pexels/Juan Vargas

First-date finances can be an awkward discussion. Even political. Most guys will insist on paying for the first date. After all, they’re the ones who asked you out. Anyways, here are 7 tips for my girls out there.

1. Wait until the check is handed down

The most cliché, overdone, and obvious choice. I’ve always wondered, why is this discussion always put off until the last second?!

I get that it can be awkward, especially for the first date. But putting it off until the check is handed down really doesn’t make it any less awkward. And it really depends on where he plans on taking you.

Is he taking you out for coffee? The check will come before the actual date begins.

Is he taking you out to a restaurant? Then the check is coming at the end of the date.

Offer to split the check. But if he’s really into you, he’ll insist on paying.

2. When he asks you out, tease him by responding “I don’t know, are you paying?”

Say it jokingly, but mean it. This will catch him off guard, see how he reacts. He’ll probably say yes, which is cute. Or, he might respond with a witty comeback, which is hot. Either way, it’s a playful way to tease him and decide who’s paying for what beforehand.

3. Offer to split the check before you even go on the date

You could just text him. He’ll either agree, insist on paying, or try to play both sides.

“I’d love to pay for you, but if you’re more comfortable paying for yourself then I understand”.

I don’t know what you’re looking for in a man. But personally, I prefer a guy who pays on the first date. Yes, we girls can obviously pay for ourselves. But I still find chivalry sexy.

4. Just go for the free dinner

If you’re not into him, you could just go on the date for a free night out.

I knew girls in college who would go on dates with guys on Tinder just to get free dinners. And if you’re wondering, yes, I did it too. I mean hey, they always insisted on paying. Just by going on the date, you’re giving him a chance to sweep you off your feet. If by the end of the date he hasn’t at least sparked your interest, then you deserve a meal for your time.

5. Insist on splitting the check

Here you’re not just offering, you’re insisting. Maybe you’re trying to be considerate. But just know this is probably going to hurt his ego. He might get the impression that you’re not really into him.

While he’s hoping for a 2nd date, a good man will cover the tab and expect nothing in return.

6. Insist on COVERING the check

You have to be really into this guy if you’re willing to cover the check for both of you. Especially since he’s probably the one who asked you out. Depending on the chemistry, it could hurt his ego. But it’s more likely to take his breath away! Reserve this for a guy you’re really falling for. And let him cover the second date.

7. Find a way to have him cook for you

First of all, a man who can cook is sexy and worth keeping around. Definitely boyfriend material. And of course, there is no check. So you don’t even need to worry about the cash complexities. You can both just enjoy a memorable first date!

You could also go on a picnic. Maybe you both prepare something.

When he asks you out, just run it by him playfully.

  • “Can you cook? I like a guy who can cook.”
  • “Only if you know how to cook…”
  • “Have you ever gone on an actual picnic? You should take me on one. I just might fall in love.”

Even if he doesn’t cook, if he wants a shot with you, he’ll look up a recipe online and become a chef overnight. And that’s charming AF. If there is a 2nd date that involves money, refer to tips 1-6.

Feria’s Last Call

The first date is the first test of compatibility. It’s like a job interview, but make it romance. He’s applying to be your boyfriend! I know you can pay for your check (and his), but give him a chance to be a gentleman (unless you want to take his breath away with Tip #6).

A nice guy kind gentleman wants to treat you. Not so he can hook up with you later (nice guy shit), but so you can take a break from life and enjoy a romantic evening. It’s his chance to impress you, and it’s your chance to be a little vulnerable and have some fun.■

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