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Why She Suddenly Ghosted You, And Why You Should Move On

A woman leaving a man at the bar. When a person suddenly disappears from your life, it means you were ghosted.
PEXELS/Cottonbro Studio

You may never know why you got ghosted. It can be tempting to go around to another one of her socials and reach out to her. I’m guilty of this myself (I’ve been suddenly ghosted). So, I get it. You want an explanation. Maybe you just want to say goodbye, to have that sense of closure. But you really should just let her go.

This Isn’t Ghost Hunters

Now, if this is a woman whom you’ve been seeing for some time, and you suddenly got into a big argument; then chances are, you know exactly why she blocked you. And you’ll probably reconnect later for make-up sex.

But, if this is a woman who seems to have blocked you with no clear explanation, you’re probably going crazy trying to figure out why. And probably even how to get back in her good graces.

Ghost Story

I recall one time in my life when I’d just met a woman at orientation for grad school. We seemed well acquainted as we chatted about our interests, backstories, ideas for the film club. We kept it going for a good half hour. I’m telling you, she seemed quite interested in continuing our conversation. This was at the least, the start of a new creative partnership. After orientation, we added each other on Facebook, and went on our separate ways. “See you soon John!” she last said to me with a glowing smile.

She was an attractive woman and loved art. So, when I arrived to my apartment, I figured I’d go dive into her Facebook profile to learn more about her. But when I tried looking her profile up, it was nowhere to be found. She’d just added me! Of course, I logged into my alt and searched her name, just to be sure. And there she was, Facebook profile fully intact.

I couldn’t figure out why, things seemed to be going so well when we’d met. But I let it go. Maybe I gave her the wrong vibe. Maybe she really wasn’t all that interested in me, and was just being nice in the moment. Whatever it was, I didn’t waste too much time beating myself up. I certainly didn’t go ghost hunting. I let it go and never saw her again.

Don’t Let It Haunt You

It’s not as serious as your imagination tells you it is, so don’t let it haunt you. Give her time. Maybe she’ll change her mind and un-ghost you. But if not, then be a gentleman, respect her wishes, and move on with your life.

Trust me, moving on is best for both of you. She clearly doesn’t have an interest in keeping you around. She doesn’t even feel comfortable enough to tell you that she’s not interested. Perhaps you came on to strong. Or perhaps it’s not even you! And she just has her own reasons that you’ll never know! You have no idea what a woman is going through, what she’s been through.

Could she have been clearer and more direct with you? Sure. But we live in a world where the block button allows us to bypass the need for that awkward conversation. So, move on with your life, quickly. Trying so desperately to force your way back into her life is disrespectful to her wishes, and is certainly not a good look for you.

If you know you messed up, then make the adjustment and grow from it. If you can’t figure out what went wrong, then don’t take it so seriously. As long as you’re being honest with yourself.

Feria’s Last Call

Social media is an integral part of our communications. That’s just the generation we were born into. Not every woman is going to be over the moon for you. You are going to get ghosted in your lifetime. Sometimes with a clear explanation, other times for reasons you’ll never know. The quicker you understand that, the healthier off you’ll be for when you do meet that woman who’s right for you. Because even after being ghosted—that woman still has an amazing life of her own to live, and so do you.■

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